Major League Baseball hates its fans and does its best to make sure they can’t see the games. It’s something CJ has talked about before. Tonight, the two Major League Baseball games available to me in HD are the Pirates at the Cards on FSNHD and the Dodgers at the Cubs on ESPN. I can watch neither of them because apparently I am in both teams’ home area.

Never mind that both teams’ home fields are over 4 hours and over 3 hours away respectively and it’s a Wednesday night where the brilliant minds at MLB headquarters can hardly expect me to just take off of work for the half day commitment at minimum it would be for me to go to these games.

So instead of watching two games in the insanely close NL Central race, including the team I follow (St. Louis) I get ESPN News and off-air bars. Thanks MLB! Yet another reason I’m glad the NFL is back.

What? You actually want to watch the games? Pshaw! Hogwashery! (Picture courtesy Associated Press)

A maybe sometimes regular or not who knows feature. CJ and I chatting on GTalk about sports. Hilarity (or not) ensues after the break.

(more…)

A thought from over the weekend…

Now that Lamar’s quest for home run number 756 is over, what’s gonna happen to ESPN’s Pedro Gomez?

“… it turned out that Bonds was just suffering from a bout of gas. For ESPN, I’m Pedro Gomez.” (image courtesy of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

In having to shadow Lamar daily for the last few years, Gomez had the Most Thankless Job In Sports On Earth, which he performed admirably. Frankly, if Lamar had griped about me as publicly as he did Gomez, I’d have fought him. Granted, I’d have taken my lengthy, steroid-fueled hospital stay afterward, but then, I’m a hack. Gomez deserves our respect as a professional.

I just wonder if I should be sending a check somewhere. Y’know, to help out until things pick up for him again.

The “Who’s Now” segment.

On tonight’s segment, Alex Rodriguez outlasted Terrell Owens by a 67.5%-32.5% margin.  What exactly was at stake here again?  God only knows.  (image courtesy of sportsunderground.com)

That’s what our society needs… to further inflate the exaggerated images of sports stars by ranking them for doing things other than playing sports.

To further exacerbate the situation, it’s all brought to us by a panel of respected sports personalities (well, respected sports personalities and Keyshawn Johnson), headed by Stuart Scott.  I can’t reach my remote fast enough.

You better keep workin’ those fundamentals, Shaq.  Word is Michael Phelps can hit his free throws.  Wait, there’s no actual sports skill involved here?  Well, then, just stay away from that “Kazaam 2″ script and you’ll be fine.  (image courtesy of nba.com)

What the hell, people? You mean you’re actually reading this? I’ll put this in an easy-to-read Q&A format, largely because I’m far too lazy to set up context for each individual situation.

(Don’t you give me that look! When Jason wants to start paying me for this, you’ll get more than an hour’s effort!)

The Ebenezer Scrooge of the Blogworld. (image courtesy of, um, us)
How are you liking the Extra Innings MLB package?

Lovin’ it, local blackouts notwithstanding. The best part of that particular situation is that I’m not a fan of any “local” teams, so I can catch another game of a similar interest level. I’m watching a lot of Dodgers games because Vin Scully is the best game announcer in the business, even at age 79, and his voice really takes me back to NBC’s old Game of the Week, which he’d call with Joe Garagiola. I think Vin is the last of his generation in terms of voices that are instantly recognizable with a franchise. (Skip Caray would count for the Braves, if TBS would ever show a damned Braves game. Enjoy “Sex and the City,” you sellout corporate whores.)

Of course, my Yankees haven’t been a whole lot of fun to watch of late. Still, seeing them lose is better than not seeing them at all… for now.

Did you see SI.com’s “On Campus” page this week?

Yes, and before I read the rest of the question, I knew what this was about. Ho-lee Hannah.

The Coppin State Eagles are 0-36 for the season, with a team batting average of .155, a team ERA of 17.00, and a team fielding percentage of .907. This is ineptitude on a scale that I can’t even comprehend. Of course, this is a team of eleven guys, none of whom appear to be pitchers, who have to take turns pitching anyway. They’ve got a whopping two players who seem to be able to handle a bat (kudos to you, Harry Williams and Teon Richburg, batting .305 and .262, respectively). I was waiting until after tonight’s contest against Lehigh to work this in, but it was mercifully rained out.

Go easy on them, folks. They still suit up and play the games, so they pass the heart test, no question.

Why isn’t anyone talking about the Detroit Pistons?

They’re playing the Orlando freakin’ Magic, who have three guys who’d crack the Pistons’ rotation and barely outlasted the most inept Indiana Pacers team in a decade to eek into the playoffs. When they get to the second round, match up with Miami or Chicago, and actually do something newsworthy, people will go back to talking about the Pistons. Relax.

Considering he can jump high enough to dunk with his teeth, Dwight Howard would most definitely crack the Pistons rotation. (image courtesy of NBA.com)

Hey, you made the ESPN 950’s local blog page! Aren’t you excited?

Yes. I’m glad that this project of ours is catching on, and once again, grateful to Jason for the opportunity to be a part of it. There are a lot of blogs out there in the mean ol’ cyber-world, so it’s nice to get the acknowledgment that we’re doing something that has some degree of quality.

Of course, I’d be more excited if I could return the favor and pick up their signal here in the Northside wilds of Broad Ripple (note to our non-Indy readership: Broad Ripple isn’t all that far North, compared to the general population of the area, so yes, I’m being a touch sarcastic). C’mon, fellas… hit up the big bosses for a better antenna.

Seriuosly, though, if you’ve got a question or comment that you want addressed but don’t want public, I’ll be happy to answer them.  Just let me, or any of our other extremely capable writers, know.

As always, we are your humble servants.

In an effort to circumvent the potentially disastrous circumstances that C.J. so eloquently outlined some days ago, Jamie and I have decided to spring for the MLB Extra Innings package through Comcast, America’s Local Cable Provider. We’ve got access to every game being played. For the first time in a long, long while, I feel cooler than the neighbors.

We’ll be able to catch all the hot, man-on-man in-game makeout action now! Screw you, neighbors! Wait… (image courtesy of mlb.com)

Of course, while updating our cable package, they managed to disconnect our Internet connection. Dipwads. Ah, well… that’s customer service in the new century. You consider it a win when you get what you pay for.

I’ll have more to add when I actually get home early enough to see a game. Until then, the party’s at our place.

TBS announced today that soon-to-be Hall-of-Famers Cal Ripken, Jr. and Tony Gwynn have joined their baseball coverage team. Ripken will be the lead analyst for a still-unnamed, Atlanta-based studio program, while Gwynn will team with Chip Caray as the color commentator for TBS’s #1 field team. This is great news… Chip Caray has always been a favorite of mine (if for no other reason than to hear his nasal “Chipper Jones” call), and Gwynn has proven more than capable on ESPN broadcasts to this point. He’s the rare great ex-player who lets the game come to him, as opposed to trying to generate false excitement with over-analysis. I’d call Tim McCarver the Anti-Gwynn, but he wasn’t even close to the player Gwynn was.

As a side note, I’ve been tired of McCarver for so, so very long now. Back in the ’80s, McCarver was the voice of the Mets on WOR-TV. The Mets were laughably bad in the early ’80s (including a game in 1983 where they made three errors on one play), but it was hard not to take notice when the team turned things around. In 1986, of course, the Mets fielded one of the best teams to ever take the diamond, so I made it a point to try and wean myself away from the Yankees once in a while and catch the gang from Queens. McCarver played for a whopping 21 seasons in the majors, mostly for the Cardinals and Phillies. He made two All-Star teams, and was a fine catcher by all accounts. He hung up the spikes in 1980 at age 38… and man, was he bitter about it. Not a play could go by in ‘86 without the inevitable negative comparison to the 1964 Cardinals, who McCarver played for in his prime. I swear to you, if you listened to McCarver during a Mets game during the ’80s, you’d think that Bob Gibson wasn’t so much the greatest pitcher of his generation (not to diminish Mr. Gibson, because he will beat me up), but was instead the Second Coming of Jesus, never threw a “ball two,” and singlehandedly turned back the Nazis on D-Day. You’d think the other team’s color guy was always in the booth. He’s actually better now. Still not listenable, but at least he’s over it a little. And I do mean just a little… but I digress.

What concerned me about the news concerning Mssrs. Ripken and Gwynn was this:

“I smell barbecue sauce… Tony, do you smell barbecue sauce? Hey, why am I standing in this tub of barbecue sauce? Tony? Tony! NOOOOOOOOO!!” (image courtesy of cnnsi.com)

Good Lord, the man’s got to be 350 pounds. Keep in mind, Gwynn’s been the baseball coach at San Diego State since he retired from playing, so it’s not like he’s leading an inactive life. Is life on the road the best choice for a man whose weight is this far out of control? Has TBS hired a personal chef to follow the A-team around and provide healthier fare? Did Gwynn kill and eat said personal chef?

Look, I’m making jokes, but as a man who’s battled his weight his entire life, I’m seriously concerned. I’m a fan of Tony Gwynn’s work, both on the field and in the booth, and I want him to continue in baseball for a long time to come. He hasn’t been retired playing for so long that his conditioning should be that out of control. Considering that heart disease is the #1 killer of African American men under 50 by a long way (Gwynn is 46), he’s not doing himself any favors living like this.

Tony, please… when you’re out there on the road, take the stairs to the booth. Hit the salad bar at lunchtime. Take advantage of the hotel pool when you can. Baseball needs you to hang around for a while.

This upcoming season, the NFL will be televising 15 pre-season games highlighting playoff contenders from last season. Of course, the one I’m looking forward to the most will be the Bears vs. the Colts in Indianapolis. It will be a good test to see if any of the sparkle has worn from the fans since winning the world championship. If the magnitude of excitement that filled the RCA dome the day after the big win is any indication, this will be yet another chance for rabid Colts fans to show their support and get to experience a little taste of the Super Bowl on their own soil.

The Colts will get 2 pre-season TV appearances (week 1 facing the Cowboys). For a list of all televised pre-season games, head on over to NFL.com.

Sports on the tube tonight:

• 7:00pm ESPN : NCAA Men’s Basketball, St. John’s vs. Seton Hall
• 7:00pm ESPNU : NCAA Men’s Basketball, George Mason vs. Towson
• 9:00pm ESPN : NCAA Men’s Basketball, Memphis vs. Houston
• 8:00pm TNT : NBA Basketball, NJ Nets vs. Chicago Bulls
• 10:30pm TNT : NBA Basketball, Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Phoenix Suns

(Image (cc) lil’murmurs @ flickr)