More channeling of Peter King. This is fun! Let’s just hope I don’t get something as mind numbingly wrong as I did last time.

• The return of the banana suit! Looks like the Pacers are adding a yellow alternate back to their uni repertoire for next season if this screen shot from NBA Live 08 is accurate. Via UniWatch.
• A very cool book is coming out in the fall about the history of Indy’s foray into major league pro hockey, the Indianapolis Racers of the WHA. Red, White & Blues: A Personal History if Indianapolis Racers Hockey 1974-1979 looks like it could be a very cool read for Indy hockey fans who miss the days of real pro hockey in Indianapolis. God I love that logo and those jerseys. And look at the crowds!  Someday I’m going to find a Racers replica jersey to buy.
• I think hot dogs would taste much better in the bun and without all the lemonade, but hey, congratulations to the new Glutton Champ Joey Chestnut.  USA! USA! USA!
• Wait… the Harlem Globetrotters have a draft?! I would pay money to see Stephen A. Smith call their draft.
• I think I want to see a baseball game with Keith Hernandez and Joe Morgan both in the booth. The resulting black hole of stupidity would destroy half the teams in baseball thus resulting in a trimmed down league and shorter schedule. Win win! We could throw in Ron Santo too. If we’re going to destroy the universe might as well go all the way.
• I think it’s spectacular there is an actual person named Mike Hunt. Is it too much to ask that he make the NFL someday just so I can hear John Madden talking about how “Mike Hunt can cover the entire field. BOOM!”
• It’s Pacers Summer Practice Time. Are you ready for the Jim O’Brien era, Pacers fans? *crickets chirping* Me too!
• I think the Colts got rid of Dominic Rhodes just in time. Ooooooops! Sorry Oakland.
• Apparently that Freddy Adu kid IS pretty good.
• I think the way to get Americans into soccer would be to just change it so goals are worth 6 points and penalty kicks are worth 3.
• Grant Hill signed with the Suns, but ended up with a severe high ankle sprain walking to his car after signing the contract. Estimates put him out of action for 2 months.
• Gone Fishin, too. Jeremy Roenick has decided to hang ‘em up after 18 years in the NHL.  He gets mega bonos points for how he annouced his retirement. Via a text message to a reporter stating “I’m retiring; is that still news?”  Brilliant. Happy trails to the 3rd leading American goal scorer in NHL history.
• I’d LOVE to see relegation put into the NBA. It might actually get me to care about the NBA again. More on this later? Maybe.

… combine it with a demolition derby, of course! Seriously, how can you not absolutely love the Japanese after watching this.

Now to see hockey + tractor pulls or something. Link via the scum and villainy at With Leather.

That faint crashing sound you heard sometime around 9 a.m. EST this morning wasn’t your next-door neighbor dropping a plate, or raccoons going through the aluminum cans in your trash.

Coming soon to a “Us Magazine” headline near you: these knuckleheads. (image courtesy of thecelebrityblog.com)

It was the collective psyche of footba-er, soccer fans worldwide plunging through the floor, as British pop phenomenon/tabloid fodder/soccer star David Beckham signed an approximately $250 million dollar deal to play for Major League Soccer’s Los Angeles Galaxy for the next five years. (Anyone who says A-Rod is overpaid may now officially shut the hell up.) The Galaxy didn’t give an exact figure as to what Beckham’s salary would be to actually play (league rules and the MLS salary cap prevent him from making too much from actually playing soccer), but the deal reportedly includes all kinds of endorsement possibilties that round the figure into the quarter-billion dollar range. Although the MLS season starts in April, he’ll join the team in August after his contract with Real Madrid runs out.

“Thanks for gettin’ me off the hook, Becks!” (image courtesy of tsn.ca)

Beckham, 31, reportedly turned down a two-year extension from Real Madrid to migrate to the United States. He only started five of a possible 25 games last season in Spain, and didn’t want to hurt his marketability by riding the pine any longer. The fact that Beckham’s wife, Victoria (a.k.a. Posh Spice, charter member of one of the worst vocal groups of all time, whose name I dare not speak lest the reunion tour be planned), has publicly wished to explore her own Hollywood opportunities for a long time had to figure into this deal strongly, as well. Pardon me if I rant for a quick second, but what opportunities does this woman have? She’s married to a soccer player, for Pete’s sake. “Being married to a soccer player in the United States” puts you just behind “being married to an NFL long snapper” in terms of your Q-rating.

Don’t hold your breath. No one takes pictures of long snappers. Go brush up on some history instead.

What does this mean for American soccer?

1. The Powers That Be in MLS are clearly happy being considered a minor league sideshow, as opposed to a real major soccer league. Its two biggest stars are a media-savvy benchrider from a real major league (Beckham) and a 17-year-old who’s got all the talent in the world, but until now was stuck under the thumb of his egomaniac coach (the recently-traded-to-Salt Lake Freddy Adu). You know Beckham is going to play in L.A. because of the money he’s due to make, but his skills have slipped… anyone who watched a fair amount of England’s team in the recent World Cup will tell you that. He was dropped from England’s national squad after an uneven five-game performance (one goal, two assists) in the world’s biggest sporting event.

2. Despite the painful reality that #1 may foretell, the resources obviously are in place for this game to be a much bigger deal in the United States than it is now. This league has a face now, and even though that face is past his prime and probably will be far more entertaining off the pitch than on it, if there was ever a time for MLS to introduce itself to the big boys, this is it. (I’ll try to be as optimistic as I can be before the opening weekend to the MLS season produces four scoreless, filled-to-the-brim-with-third-tier-talent ties. After that, all bets are off!)

3. I got five bucks that says the league’s 2007 slogan has the word “bend” in it.

So, what better to do with my inaugural post than to discuss the most important sports issue at hand, the NFL playoffs. Ever since my close brush with greatness (and lots of money) when I took the Titans at 9-1 odds to win it all in Vegas at the start of the 1999-2000 playoffs (damn you Mike Jones!) I’ve been really bad at this. However, as anyone who knows me would back up, I’m not one to learn my lesson, so I keep trying. Anyway…

Chiefs @ Colts: Yes, I’m biased. Yes, Larry Johnson will have a big day. Yes, I figure at least 150 yards. But can KC do anything to stop Peyton Manning? Especially with Dallas Clark back and apparently healthy? I think not. Larry Johnson will get tired, the Colts offense won’t. If the Colts get out to an early lead, they can force Trent Green to pass. I’ll take Indy, and I’ll be cheering from my seat in the stadium.

Cowboys @ Seahawks: I’ve never been a Tony Romo believer. In fact, if we had this blog back during the height of Romomania I’d have had some snarky posts about it. The fact that Dallas has backed into the playoffs certainly doesn’t help their case. I know Seattle’s not been good down the stretch either, but we’re talking about a team just starting to gel again after major injury problems this year. They’ve got more weapons, and Romo has no playoff experience. They’re at home. I’ll take the Seahawks.

Jets @ Pats: Anyone else sick of the Mangini - Belichick “genius bowl” crap yet? I’m not sure who to pick here honestly. Like all good Colts fans, my utter hatred of all things New England makes it difficult for me to evaluate these teams fairly. Plus, I actually kind of like the Jets. Hey, they split with New England earlier in the season, right? Plus, I’ve got to take at least one road team in the first round. Jets in a sqeaker.

Giants @ Eagles: An injury ridden Giants team that’s only in the playoffs because the NFC blows, on the road against the hottest team in the conference? Yeah, I’m taking Philly.

Special bonus FA Cup match prediction: Arsenal shocks Liverpool on the road, 1-0.

Tune in Monday to see how terrible I did. I’d not recommend betting money on my logic