It’s that time once again, kids!  Happy Pete LaCock Day!

Oh, don’t tell me you forgot…

As the sports world continues its Foundationsesque 2007 pattern of building me up just to let me down, I’m going to continue in my happy world of denial by presenting the Complete Home Run List For Players Primarily Known As Bubba:

• Bubba Trammell, 82
• Bubba Phillips, 62
• Bubba Morton, 14
• Bubba Crosby, 4
• Bubba Carpenter, 3
• Bubba Church, 3
• Bubba Floyd, 0
• Bubba Harris, 0

HAIL KING BUBBA!! (image courtesy of beisbolprofesional.net)

(It should be noted for posterity’s sake that Mssrs. Church and Harris were pitchers; Bubba Church is the All-Time Winningest Bubba, with 36 career wins. Harris had six.)

What inspired this bit of escapist lunacy? Bubba Trammell’s 36th birthday (which I actually missed by about half an hour, but what can you do?). Happy Birthday, King Bubba.

This post is wholehearted sponsored by Earth Chief Bubba!!  Or it would be, if I knew how to ask him.  I’m sure of it.  Pretty sure. (image courtesy of news.cornell.edu)

Things’re gonna turn around one of these days.

Mike Hargrove, who retired from coaching the Seattle Mariners after stating that he had “lost his passion for the job”, has apparantly found that passion again. Hargrove will be the manager of the Liberal, Kansas Semi-Pro Baseball team the BeeJays, starting with their next season.

Sophomoric jokes aside (and let’s be honest, the only reason I am posting this is for the headline), I’m happy for Mike Hargrove. He clearly still had a hunger for the competition of baseball, but just couldn’t face up to the schedule the Majors demanded without burning out completely. I’m sure that coaching the team that gave him his start some 35 years ago will be just what the doctor ordered.

During its All-Star Game on Tuesday, MLB unveiled a new series of commercials featuring comedian Dane Cook expounding the virtues of the National Pasttime.

Dane Cook takes a break from his masturbatory diatribes on how much he loves his fans to pose for a photo. (image courtesy of mediavillage.com)

Maybe they’ll make my dreams come true and tie it in with an inane movie preview… maybe Employee Of The Month 2 is coming down the pike.

The lingering question here is: Why does baseball hate me?

In an effort to make up for an egregious oversight, CWAMB is proud to offer a birthday salute to the greatest name in the history of Major League Baseball… a day late.
No, not Barry Bonds, or Ted Williams, or Stan Musial, or Joe DiMaggio, or Babe Ruth… the Greatest Name in Major League Baseball History belongs to Pete LaCock, born January 17, 1952.

“With a name like Pete LaCock, I can assure you that my life was a living hell until I was 17!” (image courtesy of baseballcardproject.com)

Ralph Pierre “Pete” LaCock was the first-round pick (the 20th pick overall) of the Chicago Cubs in the 1970 amateur draft. Despite having little ability to hit with any sort of power and no speed to speak of, Pete sprung to the majors as a first baseman and corner outfielder with the Cubs in 1972. Despite the fact that he whacked a career-high eight home runs for the Cubs in 1976, he was packaged to the Kansas City Royals after the season. LaCock’s best all-around season was 1978, as he poked out a .295 batting average, hammered five homers, and drove home 48 runners.

LaCock’s sweet stroke rarely missed its mark; he struck out only 171 times in 1,943 plate appearances. (image courtesy of fansedge.com)

LaCock would play with the Royals until 1980. He retired with a respectable career batting average of .257, with 27 home runs and 224 runs batted in.

Happy Belated Birthday, sir. Without you, my world would be a little less full of unfunny, juvenile humor.