It really seems like Dallas Clark is trying to make parody a reality.

In Search Of Dallas

Depending upon the game situation and the players available to offensive coordinator Tom Moore, Clark can be found at any one of seven spots on the field — split out wide left or right; in either slot, where he seems to excel; at either end of the offensive line like a traditional tight end; or in a split backfield, playing the H-back position alongside a tailback.
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Defenses first must locate Clark, then determine who should chase him. A third cornerback? A linebacker? A safety?

Consider how he was used during a 13-play sequence in the first half against Denver this season: wide right, wide left, wide right, wide left, slot right, slot right, slot left, wide right, slot left, slot right, tight left, slot left, tight right. On the 13th play, he slipped a block, ran down the seam, then cut to the right corner of the end zone, where he made a sliding catch for a 9-yard touchdown.

Moving around in the formation, Clark said, “is a lot of fun to see how a defense adjusts. Like when I was playing for Marv (wide receiver Marvin Harrison, who was injured against the Broncos), seeing if they bring a linebacker out there or a safety, or (cornerback) Champ Bailey.

I’m still waiting on a Dallas Clark clone to play linebacker though. Because Dallas Clark owns.