A summation of my thoughts from NFL Draft Weekend:

The Patriots will win the Super Bowl, or finish 6-10. For all the talent they’ve added, particularly on the offensive end, there’s still only one football. I can see the honeymoon with Randy Moss lasting until Week 9, after the Pats drop another one to the Colts and Moss was open for a second while Tom Brady was being flattened by Dwight Freeney. Really. That’s all it’ll take. Of course, if the last piece of the puzzle is available to you for a fourth-round pick, as Moss was, you fire that deal up, no question.

I’m not worried about Brady Quinn’s (slightly) reduced paycheck as the #22 pick overall. He’s a quarterback; sometimes, they get to do commercials.

“You know who else does commericals? Peyton Manning and his laser rocket arm.” (image courtesy of usatoday.com)

Big winners:

Cleveland Browns - They got the top two guys on their board (Quinn and #3 pick OT Joe Thomas), setting the cornerstones of their offense for the next decade. They gave up next year’s first-rounder to get it done, but that’s still not bad for one weekend’s work.

Arizona Cardinals - Keeping in mind that the Cardinals usually seem to have a good draft, OT Levi Brown (#5 overall) and DT Alan Branch (second round) will immediately help shore up the line of scrimmage in the desert. How did Branch fall that far?

Detroit Lions - Look, I’m never a fan of taking a receiver at #2, and it’s because most of the Lions’ other high-pick WRs haven’t panned out that Calvin Johnson’s not a crazy pick. Thomas would’ve been a better fit, but at least GM Matt Millen didn’t blow it this time. It’s fair enough to point out when improvement is shown, especially in an environment as volatile as the Motor City.

Even today, brave firefighters continue to battle blazes set by rioting fans celebrating the Pistons’ NBA Championship… in 1990. (image courtesy of www.ci.detroit.mi.us/fire)

Biggest Losers:

New York Giants - I actually liked the Giants’ first four picks a lot, but then I realized that not one of them was used on an offensive lineman. I get it now. They’re not only trying to get The Cough fired, they’re trying to get Eli Manning killed. Godspeed, young Manning.

Miami Dolphins - Newly added to the Dolphins’ playbook: direct snaps to Ted Ginn, Jr. Of course, anyone who suffered through Indiana University football in the ’90s will tell you what the real problem in Miami is. Hoo boy.

Green Bay Packers - Does anybody in their front office even watch college football? First-round DT Justin Harrell’s body couldn’t handle playing NCAA football, so I have to admit I’ll be surprised if he can handle half a season of NFL battery. He was a reach anywhere in Round 1, let alone at #16. They didn’t do themselves too many favors in the later rounds, either.

And on a final, somber note, take care up there, Kevin Mitchell.

As the arduous ordeal that is the NBA Playoffs continues, we can safely make three claims:

1. The Eastern Conference is really that bad.

2. See #1.

3. This best-of-seven first round silliness has to stop.

The Detroit Pistons and Chicago Bulls are the only two decent-or-better teams in the entire conference, and they swept through the out-classed Orlando Magic and decrepit Miami Heat, respectively, in four games apiece. The Cleveland Cavaliers, who have the conference’s best player in LeBron James, also used a four-game sweep to dispatch the NBA’s favorite MASH unit, the Washington Wizards. The New Jersey Nets and Toronto Raptors are having a competitive, if hideous, series largely because there are three legitimate NBA starters (Jason Kidd, Vince Carter and Chris Bosh) between the two teams. Wake me when it’s over.

“No, don’t do it, Antawn! He’s a dude! A DUDE!!” Wizards head coach Eddie Jordan reacts to “Kiss Cam” on the JumboTron in between helpless interludes of his injury-riddled team being swept by the Cavaliers. (image courtesy of espn.com)

I still fail to see what is proven by keeping the first round of the playoffs as a best-of-seven series, instead of a best-of-five. If it were up to me, the second round would max out at five games, as well, but I can at least understand the NBA wanting to keep two potential playoff games at that level on the schedule from a revenue-earning standpoint.

Did anyone watch any of these Game Fours? I know I didn’t. I’ve been watching he Western Conference games, where the eighth-seeded Golden State Warriors have finished upending the Dallas Mavericks, three games to one.

Wait, that’s not over yet, either? Oh, good… because Lord knows, the Mavs have looked so good so far that they deserve another chance to bail themselves out.

Just a thought on the draft…. ANY other team, ANY other General manager and I would believe that the Lions’ talk and rumors about Calvin Johnson is just a smoke screen to drive up Johnson’s value so they could get more for a trade down. But when you’re talking about Matt Millen, anything can happen. I just don’t understand how that team could draft yet another wide receiver when they have such glaring needs in other spots - especially offensive line.

As for the Colts, I’m hoping for a linebacker or a DT. Ideally I’d like to see them package some of their compensatory picks to either move up for a solid player or trade down and collect a few more picks. Bill Polian has proven his ability to find great players in the later rounds of the draft.

Oh.. and who’s going to be the last guy sitting in the green room looking like someone just kicked his puppy? That’s always my favorite part of watching the draft.

What the hell, people? You mean you’re actually reading this? I’ll put this in an easy-to-read Q&A format, largely because I’m far too lazy to set up context for each individual situation.

(Don’t you give me that look! When Jason wants to start paying me for this, you’ll get more than an hour’s effort!)

The Ebenezer Scrooge of the Blogworld. (image courtesy of, um, us)
How are you liking the Extra Innings MLB package?

Lovin’ it, local blackouts notwithstanding. The best part of that particular situation is that I’m not a fan of any “local” teams, so I can catch another game of a similar interest level. I’m watching a lot of Dodgers games because Vin Scully is the best game announcer in the business, even at age 79, and his voice really takes me back to NBC’s old Game of the Week, which he’d call with Joe Garagiola. I think Vin is the last of his generation in terms of voices that are instantly recognizable with a franchise. (Skip Caray would count for the Braves, if TBS would ever show a damned Braves game. Enjoy “Sex and the City,” you sellout corporate whores.)

Of course, my Yankees haven’t been a whole lot of fun to watch of late. Still, seeing them lose is better than not seeing them at all… for now.

Did you see SI.com’s “On Campus” page this week?

Yes, and before I read the rest of the question, I knew what this was about. Ho-lee Hannah.

The Coppin State Eagles are 0-36 for the season, with a team batting average of .155, a team ERA of 17.00, and a team fielding percentage of .907. This is ineptitude on a scale that I can’t even comprehend. Of course, this is a team of eleven guys, none of whom appear to be pitchers, who have to take turns pitching anyway. They’ve got a whopping two players who seem to be able to handle a bat (kudos to you, Harry Williams and Teon Richburg, batting .305 and .262, respectively). I was waiting until after tonight’s contest against Lehigh to work this in, but it was mercifully rained out.

Go easy on them, folks. They still suit up and play the games, so they pass the heart test, no question.

Why isn’t anyone talking about the Detroit Pistons?

They’re playing the Orlando freakin’ Magic, who have three guys who’d crack the Pistons’ rotation and barely outlasted the most inept Indiana Pacers team in a decade to eek into the playoffs. When they get to the second round, match up with Miami or Chicago, and actually do something newsworthy, people will go back to talking about the Pistons. Relax.

Considering he can jump high enough to dunk with his teeth, Dwight Howard would most definitely crack the Pistons rotation. (image courtesy of NBA.com)

Hey, you made the ESPN 950’s local blog page! Aren’t you excited?

Yes. I’m glad that this project of ours is catching on, and once again, grateful to Jason for the opportunity to be a part of it. There are a lot of blogs out there in the mean ol’ cyber-world, so it’s nice to get the acknowledgment that we’re doing something that has some degree of quality.

Of course, I’d be more excited if I could return the favor and pick up their signal here in the Northside wilds of Broad Ripple (note to our non-Indy readership: Broad Ripple isn’t all that far North, compared to the general population of the area, so yes, I’m being a touch sarcastic). C’mon, fellas… hit up the big bosses for a better antenna.

Seriuosly, though, if you’ve got a question or comment that you want addressed but don’t want public, I’ll be happy to answer them.  Just let me, or any of our other extremely capable writers, know.

As always, we are your humble servants.

I’ve got the biggest scoop of the 2007 baseball season. News so shocking that none of our readers will ever be able to believe it. Are you ready? Are you sitting down? Here it is: Mark Prior will miss the rest of the season!

Did you hear they’re going to rename the Skyway in Chicago “Prior-Wood Way”? See, it’s really expensive, and always under construction. (picture courtesy Fox Sports)

Ok, I know the guy is awesome when he pitches, but how often does that happen? As I’ve explained here at great length here before, I’m a White Sox fan, but unlike actual south siders, I hold no ill will toward the Cubs and would like to see them succeed. A good Cubs team is good for baseball, and Wrigley Field is an amazing place to watch a ball game. Stuff like this just makes me feel sorry for the team. Maybe Mark Cuban can save them. (Note that’s an old article. We now know the Cubs are on the block.)

So tonight is the first night where MLB’s nonsensical blackout rules officially affect me. See, tonight’s ESPN game is Tigers at White Sox, a game I’d really quite like to watch. Instead, because I’m in the Chicago “home market” even though no Chicago team actually has a contract with any TV station I can get, I get to watch a second ESPN News feed. The most hilarious thing about this is that tonight’s game was rain delayed for about 30 minutes, and what did I get during that time? If you guessed “actual baseball”, you are correct! Sure I got switched around from NESN (Red Sox/Orioles), MASN (Phillies/Nats), and FSN Florida (Marlins/Braves), but all of which were in fact actual baseball games. So, to sum up, when tonight’s national game is rain delayed, I got baseball, but when it wasn’t, I didn’t. Wonderful, isn’t it?

However, courtesy my friend Keith, it appears that there may be sanity on the horizon:

“Hmm, maybe it just might be in ‘the best interest of baseball’ if I made it easier for people to watch baseball?” (Picture courtesy the Associated Press)

We’re hearing that a discussion of those blackout rules is on the agenda for next month’s owners meeting. And indications are that it’s Bud Selig’s intention to fix this mess ASAP. We’ve also heard that teams have been asked to submit info to MLB specifically outlining all the distant locations in their “territory” where they’re actually on some form of local TV. MLB then intends to crack down on clubs that are claiming certain areas as their turf if, in reality, those claims actually are preventing fans of that team from seeing games even if they’re willing to pay for Extra Innings.

Amazing! It’s like, logic, or something! I’ve heard this before, so I’m not holding my breath, but with the recent Extra Innings/DirecTV flap, this stuff is in the news these days, so now’s a good a time as any.

To close I’ll turn the blog over to my friend Keith’s email, where he points out some of the other absurdities in the “home areas” claimed by teams:

On a similar note, this MLB blackout map cracks me up. For example:

Why does a county in the middle of Nowhere Nevada have four MLB teams
fighting for that territory?

Why does Cincinnati consider South Bend part of their home territory?
Did you ever see a Cincy fan up in South Bend? Me neither.

Speaking of the Reds, Charlotte is in Cincinnati’s territory? How many
people in Charlotte could even find Cincy on a map?

And then of course there’s Iowa. Six teams fighting over acres of corn
and Johnson’s brother.

Indeed. Come on MLB, I really do want to give you money for Extra Innings. Make it worth my while.

This one goes out to Notre Dame fans, those easily offended and the staff of ESPN 950…

We don’t really think Charlie Weis eats babies, nor did he eat any of our babies (if we had any, we’re all unmarried schmucks) at any time. The name came from a funny conversation cracking on a picture of Weis that was frontpaged at ESPN.com sometime last fall. Mr. Weis is a fine, upstanding individual and a hell of a football coach. The name is just funny. We don’t hate Notre Dame. … well, okay, maybe some of us do. But anyway, no need to be offended. If you want to be offended by your sports blogs I can make a couple recommendations. Now those dudes know offensive.

So anyway, thanks for the link from your blogs page ESPN950. It’s awesome you know who we are and felt us worth enough to let other Indy sports fans know about us. Personally I think you’re loads better than 1260AM (if only I could pick you up all the time on the north side.) But no need to be offended. Really. We’re nice people. Mostly. Just a little… off.

Alright enough of the esoteric and Indy-centric meta crap. How ’bout them Sabres? I’ve really been meaning to do more hockey blogging and will definitely pick it up as the rounds progress. From the games I’ve seen the Sabres look great, the Red Wings look good when their power play shows up, Sid The Kid fizzled in the first round and I really really want to see a Buffalo vs. Ottawa matchup next round since the bad blood between the teams earlier in the season. What’s better than a regular season goalie fight? A playoff one, of course.

*10 points to whomever can name the band that the title of this post is referencing

First a welcome to the blogosphereistan to NBA blog Stephen Jackson’s Gun Rack. The best sports blog name since…. ours.

So does anyone care enough about the NBA around these parts to write a playoff preview of some sort? Anybody? Anybody? Beuller? Alright, fine, so here it is quick like.

Western Conference
1. Dallas vs 8. Golden State
Pros for Golden State: They’ve won five straight against Dallas.
Cons: They’re Golden State. They are an 8 seed.
Pick: Dallas.

2. Phoenix vs. 7 Los Angeles Lakers
Pros for LA: Kobe Bryant
Cons: Luke Walton, Smush Parker, Andrew Bynum, Chris Mihm, etc
Intangibles: So Luke Walton shaved his head or something. And we all know what happens when dopey white guys shave their heads for the playoffs.
Pick: Phoenix

Rik Smits wants to remind any white man: Don’t Shave Your Head. Ever.

3. San Antonio vs. 6. Denver
Pros for Denver: high altitude training
Cons: Severe lack of rainbow uniforms.
Pick: Denver

4. Utah vs. 5. Houston
Pros for Utah: Multiple wives
Cons: Multiple wives
Pick: Houston

Eastern Conference
Do I have to? I do?

Whatever.

1. Detroit vs. 8. Orlando
Pros for Detroit: Rasheed Wallaces Satellite Reception Device has been cleaned and freshly shaved increasing reception from his robot overlords.
Cons: A malfunction could cause a fireball that melts the faceguard to Rip Hamilton’s face
Pick: Detroit

I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

3. Toronto vs. 6. New Jersey Soon To Be Brooklyn
Pros for Toronto: The return of Vince Carter will actually get the laid back Canadian Fans angry and yelling
Cons for Toronto: Due to the exchange rate they have to win 5 games in the series instead of 4
Pick: New Jersey

4. Miami vs. 5. Chicago
Pros for Chicago: Wade has a bum shoulder and Shaq Is Teh Old
Cons for Chicago: PJ Brown is not Rasheed Wallace. Ben Wallace doesn’t have the big scoring body to open up space for him in the lane (what? you expected to be funny on this one? I’m not your monkey!)
Pick: Chicago

… but this man may just be underpaid.

Again? Wow. (image courtesy of mlb.com)

The Yankees are going into Fenway this weekend short three starting pitchers, and even my grizzled, battered baseball soul thinks that things might just be okay.

Memo to Terry Francona: If you see this man in the 9th and you have a base open, walk him. Everyone will understand. Learn from Eric Wedge.

Good times, good times…

CWAMB is proud to wish a Happy Birthday to former pitcher Frank Viola (born 1960 in Hempstead, New York), the 1988 American League Cy Young Award winner and perhaps the most famous person from my original neck of the woods.

“Sweet Music” unleashes another concerto at an unsuspecting hitter. Hey, I know it’s corny, but part of baseball’s charm is in its corny nicknames. Makes you kind of wish “Oil Can” Boyd was still around… (image courtesy of sportsecyclopedia.com)

Viola, a southpaw, pitched from 1982 to 1996 for the Twins, Mets, Red Sox, Reds and Blue Jays, compiling a 176-150 record with a 3.73 earned run average and 1844 strikeouts. Viola won 16 or more games six times in the seven seasons between 1984 and 1990, and his Cy Young was won on the strength of a 24-7, 2.64 ERA season for the Twins. He was an American League All-Star in 1988, and a National League All-Star in 1990 (when he won 20 games for the Mets) and 1991. To add to his aura of New York coolness, Frank pitched collegiately for St. John’s.
His numbers probably would have been better, but Frank was besieged by arm injuries late in his career. He pitched in only 15 major-league games after 1993, and retired during the 1996 season. Currently, he’s the baseball coach at Lake Highland Preparatory School in Orlando, Florida.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Granted, I’m not from Hempstead, but from its smaller neighbor, Baldwin. And our most famous citizen is Dee Snider, from Twisted Sister.

CWAMB may make me the SECOND-most famous man from Baldwin, NY, after this guy. (image courtesy of tribe.net)

Cool, but not sports-bloggy in the least.