Pitchers and catchers report this week to Spring Training, meaning that the title defense of the 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals will soon be underway. It also means that the Commissioner will soon be snubbing the Human Bobblehead, the George Steinbrenner Health Watch will begin anew, Cubs fans are once again hopeful their team will win a World Series in their lifetimes (and should be for another, oh, five weeks), and an entire city will begin its annual rite of collective whining.
In honor of these events, I submit to you, the reader, another birthday celebration: John Paciorek, born February 11, 1945.
Happy 62nd, John. It was a heck of a ride. (image courtesy of baseball-almanac.com)
If that name sounds familiar, it should. John’s younger brothers Tom and Jim also played in the Major Leagues. Tom Paciorek spent 18 years (1970-1987) as an outfielder in the bigs, with the Dodgers, Braves, Mariners, White Sox, Mets, and Rangers, and was an American League All-Star in 1981. He retired with a very respectable .282 career batting average, and spent several years afterwards as a color commentator for the Chicago White Sox with Ken “Hawk” Harrelson. Yes, that’s right… most of the current generation of baseball fans knows Tom Paciorek as “Wimpy.”
“I’m gonna make Frank Thomas my ‘pick de clique,’ Wimpy. What do you think?” I think sitting next to the Hawk for any length of time would make me a heavy drinker. You’re a saint, Tom Paciorek, a saint. (image courtesy of sportsencyclopedia.com)
Jim Paciorek wasn’t quite that successful, scratching out a .228 average in 101 at-bats as a backup corner infielder with the 1987 Brewers in his only Major League season, but his career was a marathon compared to his big brother’s… John Paciorek’s big-league career lasted all of one game.
John, who was 18 at the time, got the call on the last day of the 1963 season, on September 29. He started in right field and batted seventh for the Houston Colt .45s, who were closing out their abysmal second season by hosting their even-more abysmal brothers-in-expansion, the New York Mets. Houston won the game in a rout, 13-4, with John going 3-for-3 (in addition to walking twice), with four runs scored and three runs batted in.
Sadly, John never got back to the major leagues. He had suffered a back injury during the ‘63 season, which severely hindered his development. After struggling to keep his average over the .150 mark for most of 1964 (at A-level ball, no less), he went under the knife and sat out the 1965 season. He would come back the following season, and would hit 17 homers for the Reno Silver Sox of the A-level California League in 1968, but that would be the closest to his former glory he’d get. John retired from professional baseball after the 1969 season.
At least he’s got the distinction of having the greatest one-game career in Major League History, and it’s more than a cliche; no other player in MLB history who appeared in only one game has three hits in only three at-bats. Throw in his run production, and it’s a game to build a dream on.
I’m sure there are a million more players, from all kinds of backgrounds, that never made The Show and would trade any of their best days for his. I know I would.
